Idolatry is a form of obsessive worship. I suppose I fall into this category when it comes to photography, the object being the obsession with seeing. To my eyes, when in the throes of my personal idolatry, every moment is a photograph to be made. At the moment, it’s not happening for me. I have been carrying this Leica around for the better part of a week with a spooled roll of Acros, and I haven’t pressed the shutter even once!
I truly believe I am at a crossroad with photography. I want more. I am paralyzed from being unable to come to grips with that “more” is. I think it comes partially from trying to get my arms around a very personal and emotional photography project. I hope it to be an expression of a very difficult experience and the habit of avoidance and fear of it is vexing.
If Isabel Curdes reads this, I ask for patience. I have the map of thoughts and suggestions you prepared for me in my camera bag, always. I will be taking a peaceful trip in a few weeks and with that time I hope to gain clarity on all of it, giving me the ability to proceed.